SheHadtheBlues

2011-09-24T22:46:00.001-07:00

Always be a first rate version of yourself, and not a second rate version of someone else.

I love this quote today! As of late, I have been thinking that there is more to this saying than meets the eye. At surface value, Judy is saying, you will make a better 'you' than a 'somebody else'. Which is fine and all, but good advice doesn’t leave you with questions why, that are unanswered. It also seems to me that the purpose here is to be first rate and not second rate. This is advice I offer to everyone because I always forget to follow it. Take this whole blogging thing. I do not post often enough because many times, I fear that my intended audience DOES NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYTHING I HAVE TO SAY. This is, of course, VERY VERY SILLY. Generally, it is acceptable for blogger to write about whatever they want. I hope that you do like it. Sometimes, or at least once. By trying to write this blog, as if I were someone else I have been losing out. I have not been writing, expressing myself, getting my feelings out, or producing anything with all the spare time on my hands. In addition, I have not given myself something to look forward to, and have not been feeling accomplished. Heaven knows, I have enough to worry about and fewer things to anticipate. I haven’t been being first rate!

I hope that, if there was something in your life that you are doing, that you could do better, if you acted as your authentic self. This is my hope- that instead of taking inventory of all your flaws, your waking moments are filled with first-rate thoughts. Once I start treating myself as first rate, I no longer need so much approval. Best luck to you first-rate blog readers.

Xoxo & Helpful thoughts,

SheHadtheBlues

2011-09-24T22:42:00.001-07:00

Some people will say that motivation is all about knowing what to do and doing it. They’ll tell you if you get motivated, and then find out what work has to be done, that you’ll be more likely to lose your resolve. In my experience, motivation does not come with systematic instructions and it is much easier to become motivated without understanding how much work is involved. This is how I function generally. Are you anything like me?

If so, I want to tell you about a trip I took yesterday. I went to an art museum! Yes, this is where I get my kicks. I can’t paint, but I love to look at other people’s works. I’m really artsy-fartsy, except that I don’t paint and have no drawing skills. While at the museum, a guard came over and struck up a conversation with me. I told him that I wanted to work in a museum. And he told me some things that I found motivating and moving:

1) The world is made of many types

2) Each of these many types have many dreams,

3) that it is never easy to pick the winning dream,

4) and that at least some of my dreams would come true

This is the nicest, most heartwarming, and least nauseating thing anyone has told me post college- graduation. (Have you read the jobs reports?). And I just wanted to share this with you. Maybe, no adult in your life has ever told you anything positive like this. Life becomes an eternal competition- who can reach their dream fastest. Who can pick their real calling first? There is no one path to anywhere- not even Carnegie Hall. All the post college/ get-a-job and slave away/-be unhappy/sacrifice/ pressure seemed to fade into background noise, and I felt as if he had given me a gift. In that, instant I felt ready to leave, as if I had secretly known that I had gone to the museum to meet him and hear what he had to say. I felt like after a good meal that I did not even know I had wanted.

Hopefully you too have many, many dreams. And having many dreams is not indicative or an overly active imagination or having your heads in the clouds. I am proud to be a dreamer and I hope you are too. And I do have many, many dreams, and I have the sense to realize that I am going to use all of my dreams wisely, and will never again make the mistake again, of not daring to dream. It is literally a waste of time.

Xoxo & Helpful thoughts,

SheHadTheBlues

Poem

2011-08-08T16:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the best way to get motivated is the quickest and least complicated. A good poem perhaps? Here's one that I wrote, even when i didn't think I could possibly have a good poem left in me. Hope you enjoy! And have a _________ week! Be it happy, lonely, clarifying, inspirational, or restful! Whatever you are motivated to do. It's titled : Looking at the Stars

Sometimes, I like to look at the Stars.

To Gaze upon the dusky blues and whites

To rise above the din and dunes and see beyond the bars.

Sometimes I gaze too hard. Sometimes I gaze too long

Sometimes I gaze alone. Sometimes I gaze too strong.

I see them brightly shining with snarky, twinkling beams.

As if to say the distance is much longer than it seems.

But sometimes I remember that there are tons of stars.

And even in December, a star is just a star.

And someday I may sparkle-- twinkle brightly and emit

A light, a luz, an aura, that too never ever quits!

There are many things that sparkle and

are many ways to shine.

Just because I'm not a star

doesn't mean I'm far behind.

So What!

2011-07-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

" So What" is the quote for motivation that i'm going to offer, but before you jump to any conclusions and assume I've taken a turn towards immaturity-ville, listen closely. Or read carefullly. "So What" is a power statement.
"So what" is not an angsty teenagers asserting that they don't care, as a feeble attempt at gaining power. So what is a thoughtful question that asks the receiver of it, what exactly about the situation is particularly and essentially important. What is timeless about what you are worrying about or planning for? So what if you are motivated. The real question is are you dedicated in a way the works for you. So what asks you to look beyond what you have all ready noticed, and as anyone can tell you, there is almost always something else to notice. so now reader, I ask you, So What else? Here is my So What list:
1. Bad Economy: I'm only 23, chances are eventually I will get a job, and eventually it will be something to enjoy. So for today at least Joblessness is not going to kill me. Your turn. Happy So What-ing!
2. sprained ankle: my sprained ankle has provided me with an opportunity to finally do all the laying down and laziness a person can do. So What? I've discovered that I'm not a lazy person. All I want to do is get up and move around. I'm not a true, authentic lazy person. I'm too guilty.
What else can you discover by So What-ing!

Laughing

2011-01-15T20:02:00.000-08:00

*Laughing at yourself, and others too*

Look at the following phrase, and tell someone you know what you think it means. I CAN BE CLUMSY SOMETIMES. To me, it used to refer ONLY, to a self effacing statement, I often make, when I plan to sit out, back down, or otherwise walk away from an opportunity. I CAN BE CLUMSY sometimes. In order to not be clumsy, and to not have people give me that look that says, “How did you manage to take a perfectly safe activity, and turn it into a heart stopping escapade into clumsyville?” In addition, for some of us, like me, clumsiness is a real source of shame. And everyone knows that it always has to happen when you most need to seem coordinated and together. Now, it means that I personally CAN be clumsy, and it is not that big a deal because it does not define me.

Now, shame aside, everyone understands that clumsy can happen to anyone. It is possible. But certain people are expected NOT to be clumsy. Like movie stars, or athletes, or anyone you know and think highly of- and this person can even be you. The truth is that even movie stars or TV. actors make mistakes and are clumsy and uncoordinated. In fact, for movie stars, and the children or loved ones of many aspiring filmmakers, their every clumsy act is caught on film. Sometimes they call it a blooper real. But I have yet to hear of a person who does not watch blooper reels. Why do we watch them? I think it’s because 1) Their mistakes are unexpected, and unintended, and 2) It is DELIGHTFUL to be reminded, of that fact- WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. They can happen any time, and anywhere. And sometimes, the only good to come out of falling on your face is the laughable memory of that time you were not in control, and totally went splat. To err is human, you my mortal friend- are certainly human, and I will remember and thank you for it. You have the ability to be clumsy, and not have that define you at every moment. How delightful!

Amelie Poulain

2010-09-27T00:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I hope you find inspiration, and words that move you.

Before i digress, let me state my cenral point: EVERYBODY

on this entire planet makes grand generalizations about the world they live in.

Our culture is full of them- and thanks to the internet, the airplane, the telephone, and the car, we are able to travel just about anywhere to find the generalizations that fit our lives.

Generalizations are sometimes referred to as advice, or wisdom or counsel.

For some, it's as simple as " If at first you don't succeed , try again". and for others, it takes a simple chorus of "Don't Stop thinking about tomorrow. It will Be Here Better than Before. Cause Yesterday is gone. " (Don't Stop,Fleetwood Mac).

Each person, is different, though ad needs to hear a different generalization.

That is why everybody must be careful of what you believe, and be aware of it.

think of poor Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, who blindly puts all her faith in this mystical Wizard of Oz, only to find out that the true power was in her hands already. And what about the more modern fairy tale Shrek- where the Monster generalizes that the Princess won't love him because he's an Ogre. And aren't they meant for each other? He hasn't even factored in that she might be an Ogre too.

Or even the classic Frankenstein- where the towns people generalize the gruesome Frankenstein to be a killer-even though he dies protecting his creator? what messages are you missing because you don't know the whole story? Nobody has all the answers- except you.

The song Don't Stop Believing by Journey? Is that a beloved classic because tons of people don't believe?

THe truth we have so many more thoughts than we are aware of.

My point is not to order you readers into become mind-numbingly

obsessive overthinkers. no my point is just to permit yourself to think freely, and then see what it is you really , truly think. What do you believe?

I'd like to close with one of my favorite moments from the classic rock song Amazing by Aerosmith

"Remember that the light at the end of the tunnel , may be you."

Citations:

Don't Stop Believing , Journey

The wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum.

Shrek, a film by Dreamworks

Dont Stop , Fleetwood Mac

Amazing by Aerosmith.

* All mentioned songs, movies, and books are copyright protected and sole intellectually property of their owners.

Perfection!

2010-09-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.

-Samuel Butler...courtesy of quoteland.com
Here's a small tip on perfection. Some people say there is no such thing. Some of us however, can't seem to stop using this word in our everyday language, and using it as a frame of reference to compare ourselves or loved ones to others we don't fully understand. Here is the key to perfection if you cannot get it out of your head: Practice! Or to put it in different words- Hindsight. After all hindsight is twenty-twenty.
After you have left the keys in the car door, or burned the turkey in the oven-which are normal problems for any man or woman- allow yourself a moment to recognize what went wrong. After you realize that you have Don't analyze, or marinate in the feeling of guilt or shame. Allow yourself to make mistakes-even if everybody else is looking! It might actually be the thing you need most.
For example, college student A, is operating on a reduced income. Instead of spending she holds back from buying the necessities until she is absolutely sure she needs them. She is never sure on how much she needs to spend, as each month she realizes she has still to take care of all she needs to. College student B is basically broke, but he goes out and spends his money, as he thinks he should. After a month or two, looking over his receipts and bank statements, he sees the light!
Another example might be, postponing your own judgements about yourself, and your inability to organize until a couuple weeks of letting the real you show. Only after you have been the true you, can you make the right adjustments to fix yourself and be perfect!
The pattern, as it turns out, is only revealed in hindsight- or after the fact. so the next time you make a really big fool of yourself-remember how much wiser you'll be looking back. think of yourself as hansel or gretel (or both) leaving breadcrumbs for yourself to find your way home. Or think of yourself as a bold, archaeologist type, sifting through the ruins of your last week, searching for something valuable. But you won't know the worth until a little while later.
Given enough time even you can be-dare I say it- perfect. If you believe in that sort of thing-which I must confess, I sometimes do.

Blues ARE BACK!

2010-06-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,
Albert Einstein, one of the smartest men alive, or so we are told is quoted as saying "Problems in life are not solved by the same mentality that created them.". So simple and so brilliant, that it seems as if you or I could've come up with that quote. And that is the reason I draw from quotes. Because any person, no matter what their occupation, economic situation, medical diagnosis, or innocuous psychosis (I.E. low self esteem, laziness,over developed ego), can have a moment and say something brilliant. Share your brilliant insight with someone willing, and you'll be suprised at who else turns out being interested in sharing the truth with you.
My second point, that I somehow digressed from earlier, is really about the meaning behind the quote. You need to change the way you think to solve your problem. For example, some people are struggling to make ends meet because their money was poorly managed by somebody else. After a suffiecient period of mourning for the lifestyle lost, it would be great if these hypothetical people would decided to become the primary managers of their own money. I am not judging anyone, simply stating a change that woulkd do them some good.
For the students among the readers, let's look at the task of late job searching in this market. I know someone who is in the same position, and it causes him a lot of stress. He is unconfident in himself, partially due to unfortunate family circumstances, lack of positive emotional support, AND holding several jobs in whgich he was demeaned by bosses. NOW. not to discredit the countless people who have worked through several jobs that got too personal in a negative way, BUT people have limits. And this person I am speaking of, is sensitive, and has no fight left. Perhaps insted of finding another temporary job, he'll just be wating to quit, he should look for something more permanent, that he can love, and because he loves it, work HARDER,LONGER, and fulfill his financial obligations.
It just makes sense. When life gives you lemons, ADD SUGAR, metaphorically speaking of course. Sugar to your thoughts, and vow that you will let yourself find a NEW less traditional way out of whatever mess you are in.
Sincerely,
Shehadthebluez
blems are never solved by the same mentality that created them"-A Einstein"""Your problems are never solved by the same mentality that created them"-A Einstein"

Another Reason I USED to have the blues: Breaking vows & Ending Blues

2010-04-02T21:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,
Let's be honest. Let me be honest. Often I have a great idea pop into my head, only when i got to execute whatever brilliant plan i just dreamed up, I find I haven't the words to express what I mean. Or, there is the even more disappointing times when, I go to excute the crazy thought in my head, i find it is not logistically possible, due to some minor oversight that I overlooked. That kind of thing- having a dream or a thought or a goal and letting it go because something stands in your way- happens to everyone.
Of course, before I knew better, grew older, wiser, and decided that I wasn't born an unhappy loser and wasn't going to take ANYTHING laying down, I would just give up. No use banging one's head against a brick wall. But years of that gave me the blues. i'm not talking about clinical depression, but I am talking about the blues, in a real sense. You could just look at me and tell that I was "debbie downer". For those of you thinking to yourself, Good for you. You got over it, getting OVER IT isn't always easy. And just because you have so far been unable to GET OVER IT, doesn't mean that you don't DESERVE help.
So if you're having trouble shaking off the blues here is a solution that worked for me. All I am proposing, is that in order to stay motivated, and in order FOR YOU to bring more happiness or SATISFACTION into your life is to bookmark those failed plans & come back to execute them later.
The reason I'm ranting about this is that 1) i was inspired to by the following quote :
The vow that binds too strictly snaps itself. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson,
and 2) because it is how i GOT OVER my blues.. although it was more like getting through them .
If I'm still confusing, then let me be clear. I was unhappy because i made all of my life decisions based on critical moments. I knew I loved music but told myself that it was stupid for someone like me to even think of making it. I VOWQED that I woould never think of it again, in a way. I'm sure that if you took a couple seconds you could come up with a couple examples of vows you 've made to yourself, that place your happiness in the control of a very specific set of circumstances. And when the circumstances are against in the one moment, you tell yourself I am so stupid not to see that I lack the resources (time, money, talent E.T.C.). I will never allow myself to think like that again. OR I am so stupid, I always do this behavior. I cna never change ( I VOW that I CAN"T CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR)
Truth is, you have thoughts about that forbidden subject all the time. OR you want to change your behavior.If you think of your dream to travel often, and you begin to take it seriously, in time, you can find a way to- no matter how poor you may currently be.
If you tell yourself , it'll never be, when you really want it, it will never be. You will hurt yourself. You will break down and suddenly your life will suck. Do yourself a favor, and loosen up. Sometimes you have to rephrase the vows we make to ourselves.
BREAK THE VOW & remember in a year or two what looks impossible now may be a little more realistic. :)

2010-03-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

" A word to the wise ain't necessary-it's the stupid one's who need the advice."-Bill Cosby

A good laugh or good for a laugh but not exactly true. Or if indeed it is true than even wise one's have moments of stupidity. I believe that help should be available to whomever needs it. Judgement free. In the spirit of helping, here you will find a daily quote to meditate on in your leisure time. Here you will find tools for motivation. Today's lesson:

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.
-Robert H. Schuller

Courtesy of quoteland.com

Especially around new year's eve, people tend to get this kind of crazy obsession with self improvement. There is an abnormal focus on perfection, and not having problems, which is quite unrealistic. Whether your new year started on Jan 1st, Feb. 14th (Chinese New Year), it is important to remember that when problems are solved, everyone derives a small amount of satisfaction , and Not just because the problem is gone, but because a difficulty situation was overcome through perseverance & craft. Those who don't get any sort of adrenaline rush or minimal positive feeling tend to operate under the belief that they shouldn't have problems. This is a lose-lose situation. To avoid being unhappy-embrace your problems, pride yourself on finding the solution how ever you do it. It really is supposed to feel good! And feeling good leads to all kinds WONDERFUL life changes. :)

Now, I would be a shameful blogger, if I didn't elaborate on how to embrace your problems. Goodness knows, it's not easy because I had to learn how to not give up. Step one is to know yourself, and enjoy yourself. If you know yourself, you can use your bad habits against your bad habits. This the same thing that academic tutors tell their students, when they are looking to raise a grade. If you are artistic, make artistic notes. If you can't concentrate for more than 10 minutes give yourself more breaks. If you can't be perfect-don't be perfect! Learn to aim to satisfy yourself, and most importantly give yourself time to develop new habits. Telling yourself that you have enough time to get your project(s) done helps you focus on what you're doing, so you can do it well. And let's face it, without a time crunch, it's amazing how much can be accomplished :)

p.s. My point is not turn people into optimists, but to help them find a way. Just my opinion.

6-19-09

2009-06-19T20:22:00.001-07:00

Deep down inside, for some reason or the other, we all believe we are special whether our parents tell us or not. I'm not talking about "my parents call me Princess & Superior" special, I'm talking about each one of us searching for the right answers at the right time so we can walk our individual paths. That is such a healthy thought that so many of us are taught to let go of.
In the midst of economic downturn it becomes even more difficult for young people (like 22 year old me) to keep their perspective. This is the first time in many young lives that we have been crushed by fears both financial, global, and personal. There is this fear in students now, that is the same fear felt by graduates of every generation. Yet how did any of us get this way? We were all trying to live as if we weren't special. We don't all have to be radically different, but we do need to keep in mind that the key to a healthy life is giving yourself room to err, learn, grow, and most importantly room to be challenged. And when I say room to be challenged I mean forgiving yourself for being in a financial scrape so that you can job search guilt free, and so you can find the job that is best for you.

***SheHadtheBlues***

Poem

So What!

Laughing

Amelie Poulain

Perfection!

Blues ARE BACK!

Another Reason I USED to have the blues: Breaking vows & Ending Blues

6-19-09

SheHadtheBlues